We won’t judge you for being curious (we are, too): Can women really, um, squirt?
You’ve seen it in so many porn vids you’ve lost count, but have you seen it in real life? Is it just another case of adult film industry trickery, or can regular women actually make the sheets that wet in bed?
Here’s the honest-to-goodness, straight-from-the-experts, answer: Yes, squirting — also known as female ejaculation — is real, and there’s a good chance you can make it happen yourself.
RELATED: Women Reveal What Squirting Is Really Like (Brace Yourself)
But it’ll take some true studying of her body, practice and being comfortable with a big mess to make magic happen in the bedroom.
This makes it a fun endeavor for couples who have been together for many years, as it provides a way to shake things up in the bedroom and challenge your limitations and sexual education.
The first step, of course, is understanding what exactly you’re aiming to do to your partner’s body with a quick deep dive into the anatomy of the vagina.
“Before talking about squirting, it’s important to know a little bit about the female anatomy,” psychologist and sexual expert Dr. Rachel Needle says. “Female ejaculation is characterized by the expulsion of a significant quantity of fluid from the woman’s urethra during orgasm. Many people refer to this as ‘squirting’ or ‘gushing.’”
So how do you make your partner squirt? Experts give you the dirty run-down on female ejaculation, along with some things you likely never knew about the female anatomy:
What Happens When a Woman Squirts
It might seem sexy to turn someone on so much that they squirt — but without knowing the physical reasons that their body is responding in this way, it’ll be hard to begin the process of helping them orgasm in such a powerful way.
Much like the way people with penises ejaculating involves climaxing and expelling a fluid, people with vaginas can do the same. In fact, the erogenous zones have similar functions, but your partner’s spot might be a bit more difficult to find and stimulate than your own.
“Female ejaculation is often associated with the G-spot, which is said to be located in the anterior vaginal wall, halfway between the back of the pubic bone and the cervix along the urethra,” Needle explains.
While the G-spot is a common term that many people are familiar with, Needle notes that the Skene’s glands are much less well-known.
“Skene’s glands are sometimes referred to as the ‘female prostate’ for anatomical analogy,” she says. “The male prostate is responsible for generating most of the content of seminal fluid. By analogy, the ‘female prostate’ is thought to produce the content of female ejaculate.”
Makes sense, right? Though you can likely stimulate most every woman’s G-spot, causing them to feel a deeper, more intense pleasure during intercourse, fingering play or oral sex, Needle notes that not every woman’s Skene’s glands are developed enough to make large quantities of female ejaculate. Also, your partner might not even know that you’re starting to engage those glands because for most women, the sensation feels the same as if she was about to urinate, so they naturally hold back.
This makes communication — the silver thread of every relationship! — that much more important. Once she’s onboard with the idea of squirting, take some time to go over the process and the feeling, so she is prepared for how it will feel once you’re in the action.
Does Squirting Mean It’s the Best Orgasm Ever?
For people with penises, during intercourse or while getting a blowjob, orgasm is overwhelmingly tied to ejaculation. But while most people with vaginas are more likely to orgasm without squirting, that doesn’t mean that releasing a torrent from the Skene’s glands is some kind of “super orgasm” that connotes even more pleasure.
In fact, sex experts will tell you that while the challenge may be pretty hot for you, it’s important to remember that for women, a great orgasm is a great orgasm, and doesn’t require a liquid release to be pleasurable.
RELATED: Women Reveal What Finally Made Them Orgasm
“There is little evidence that stimulating the G-spot or an ejaculatory orgasm is more enjoyable or intense,” Needle notes. “More lubrication is not equivalent to greater orgasmic intensity or pleasure, and emitting a fluid is not prima facie evidence for greater arousal or more pleasure. Most women don’t ejaculate with orgasm, and their orgasms and sexual response are still just as pleasurable as those who do.”
This might not make the prospect of making her squirt as exciting, but chances are high you’ll enjoy the novelty of the experience — and it could be a fun kinky, messy time for both of you if she enjoys the psychological experience of drenching you and your immediate surroundings, or simply of appreciating your excited response.
How Do You Make Someone Squirt?
Even though it might not be the most extreme orgasm of her life, if you want to try to see if you can get her to squirt (or she’s curious too!), it can be a fun way to shake up your go-to sexual routine with a goal in mind.
Before any clothes come off or anyone touches anyone, the biggest factor to pay attention to is relaxation. In part because of cultural messages like slut-shaming, it can be difficult for many women to allow themselves to let go and be in the moment, and any holding back will prevent your partner from releasing tension that leads to female ejaculation.
“After she uses the restroom — so she’s not worried about urinating when she’s actually about to squirt — tell her to lay back, relax and enjoy the sensations she feels. This is where foreplay comes in,” Dr. Melissa Fogel, psychologist and clinical sex expert, suggests. “Foreplay is important not only to ensure she is sufficiently relaxed, but in order to make a [someone] squirt, her G-spot needs to be adequately simulated for a prolonged amount of time.”
In addition to the tried-and-true, toy-free ways to turn her on, there are other ways to ensure she’s zeroed-into the moment and fully at ease. From online websites with the sole purpose of making sex better to vibrators and other stimulators, here are some ways to get started:
1. Try Out OMGYES
While you can read just about everything the Internet has to offer (including this article), talk to all of your buddies and practice as often as you can — the greatest source of information on how to make that magical ejaculate happen from your partner is by talking to her.
But another way to get a very in-depth look at the female anatomy, is to curate your sources and check them twice. One site that’s dedicated to helping men (and women) get the most out of their sexual experiences and better educate their skill set is OMGYES.
What is it? Just like the name implies: by utilizing the resources here, you’ll get her to that pleasure zone — and make her ejaculate — like you’re working hard to achieve.
Created and directed by women, this site is more than just text on a page – you can physically see sexual techniques, 3D renderings and the ability to search for just about anything you need help figuring out.
Though the videos are sexy, considering it’s sexual play, more than anything, they’re educational and meant to be a way for you to ‘practice.’ Instead of scoping out your skills with your partner, you can really dive into the topic you’re most interested in and lets you navigate the vagina, the vulva, the clitoris, getting a better grasp on every area.
Imagine this: instead of touching her endlessly without much of a reaction, or missing a spot over and over, OMGYES will help you figure out exactly which region will ignite her pleasure, making it easier for you to give her what she needs to reach female ejaculation.
All you have to do is check out the ‘try it yourself’ stimulation that’s even compatible with touch-screen devices, so you can master your strokes, taps and such, for as long as you’d wish. You can also master pressure and direction, speed and sensation to ‘pass’ a level and get her to orgasm, virtually. A video game that’ll help you make your real-life partner ejaculate? Yes, please!Check out OMGYES
2. Don’t Be Afraid of Lube
Talk to any sex expert and they’ll be the first to tell you how underrated lube is for sexual encounters. For squirting, lubrication is a must — as it keeps everything, ahem, well, flowing.
Fogel says that while you might want her to just be wet out of pure pleasure, there’s no shame in having as much lube as possible to start engaging her body for a long time.
“Using enough lubrication is important to make her G-spot ready and to prevent any discomfort that may arise due to friction,” she suggests. “A water-based lube works best. Make sure not only to apply it to the outside and inside of her vagina, but to your fingers and palm as well. Once everything is sufficiently wet, you can start working on her G-spot.”
K-Y Liquid Personal Water Based Lubricant, 5 Ounce
If you’ve been getting it on since you were a teenager, you probably stopped by your local drugstore to pick up some K-Y. Why? As one of the most well known (and the No. 1 doctor-recommended) brands, it is no wonder that by now, this lubricant is a household name. This water-based formula only has water (duh), glycerin, sorbitol, propylene glycol, hydroxyethylcellulose, benzoic acid, methylparaben and sodium hydroxide — all of which are approved ingredients for fun time in the bedroom. It is mean to alleviate vaginal dryness for women while they’re having sex, or for when you’re trying to help her reach her highest level of orgasm. Though it is only compatible with latex condoms, the K-Y lube will be a welcome addition to your toy chest.$11.44 at Walmart.com
System Jo Personal H20
As the name suggests, this is a water-based lubricant meant for safe, slippery play. Though it is made with aqua, reviewers say that it feels more like a silicone lube, leaving you and your partner feeling moisturized instead of just-showered. This lube is also known to last longer and keep you hydrated under your belt for whenever you’re up for some more action together. It won’t get sticky and washes off easily, just in case you need to make it to your dinner reservation or the office, stat. You might even consider bulk buying options, if you plan on using lube frequently in your sex life (and ahem, you should, for the sake of both of your bodies).$14.99 at Walmartns.com
3. Really Nurture the G-Spot
And by nurture, we mean the more attention the better — but with the right touch. This comes after practice, since hey, as they say, it makes it perfect! Once you’ve done all the prep work, now you’re actually in for the hard work of getting her to the point of squirting.
Because female ejaculation can only really happen when you spend an extended amount of time — think up to an hour — focused solely on her G-spot, make sure you’re prepared for a lot of trial and error. Fogel recommends beginning with oral and finger play.
“Use oral sex to stimulate and arouse her clitoris. After doing this for a few minutes, insert your middle finger inside her; palm facing up. With your finger in about two inches deep, rub her front vaginal wall using a ‘come hither’ motion. After using this motion for several minutes you can add your middle finger and experiment with different amounts of pressure and movement,” Fogel explains.
You’ll know that this combination of oral sex and fingering is working when your partner’s G-spot becomes enlarged and feels spongy. This means that the frontal wall of their vagina is swollen with liquid from the Skene’s glands, Fogel says.
RELATED: The Best Sex Toys for Women, Revealed
Using a toy can give your hand a rest, while also sending their orgasm into overdrive. Since so many women need a little extra assistance to reach their highest peaks of pleasure, buying a few toys designed specifically for the infamous G-spot is a great investment in your sex life. From the classic “rabbit”-style toys to super-sleek modern ones, see which one fits the pleasure goals for your relationship and go from there. We suggest you try these to get yourself started:
A&E Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit
Of all the sex toys ever created, the Rabbit is the most well-known and, often, the most loved. This sex toy does all of the action that you want it to, and reaches her most sensitive and erotic areas with ease. It dual-vibrates on both her clit and G-spot, and offers her seven different speeds to choose from, depending on what, ahem, tickles her fancy. It is also waterproof, in case you want to take all of that energy into the shower.$59.95 at AdamEve.com
Eve’s Thrusting Triple Joy Rabbit
Warning: this baby is only for those who are ready to take up their sexual game a really, really big notch. In fact, if your partner has ever been intrigued by the idea of dual penetration but didn’t want to sleep with anyone other than you, this might be the super-hot device that lets her experience it. There are three parts: a curved tip that massages her G-spot (and your shaft), a clit stimulator that has tiny “pleasure nubs” that rub against her trigger point, and a smaller backdoor vibe for anal play. Turn this one and get her ready for one hell of an orgasm. For this device, it is essential to use plenty of lube and to give your partner the driver’s seat. Because there’s so much going on, especially for her, you don’t want to push or vibe too hard and make her uncomfortable, or worse, cause her pain.$99.99 at AdamEve.com
When She Squirts
Once you’ve gotten to this point, it’s time to switch the position of your hands. This switch will continue to stimulate the G-spot and will get your partner to the point of squirting whatever liquid they’re able to produce.
“Move your hand so that your palm is resting on her clitoris with your fingers inside her, as if you are cupping her clit,” Fogel says. “Now, begin to move your entire hand up and down, which will hit her G-spot with your fingers at the same time you are stimulating her clitoris with your lubricated palm.”
This is the time when you watch her react so you can maintain a steady rhythm and pace, as you apply more and more pressure to the G-spot. This is the point when they should finally squirt.
“You may need to remind her to relax by telling her to ‘let go,’” Fogel says. “As an added bonus to ensure she squirts, you can use your other hand to press on the area below her belly button, which will make her squirt more easily.”
Of course, if she doesn’t end up squirting, don’t be too disappointed. This isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone with a vagina. It might require more tries than just one, or it may not be something you’re able to achieve even with practice — everyone is different.
If your partner does squirt, though? Congrats — and enjoy the clean-up!
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